Saturday, February 7, 2009 3:54 PM
Snips from these past days:
- Read 2 books, going to go get Twilight today (smiles)
- Drinking session getting way high the past 2 days
- Crappy headaches in the morning
- Getting to see ex the past 2 days
- Watching Twilight today made me want someone like Edward.
- Might be going back to school the next week.
- A messy talker when i'm high.
Planning to get 90210 and Gossip girls on book too.
I'm taking up reading again! Pay came, wasn't as much as I expected. I want to flood myself with books everyday. Soon enough, I can finally leave what I don't want people to remember me for and pick up a new lifestyle.
Hey, nobody said impossibility was impossible.
I want to drink tonight, again. Damn.
I texted someone who meant a lot to me yesterday, it eased and comforted me that somehow that someone is still here, somewhere. Means alot. |
11th March,
Wednesday, February 4, 2009 2:58 PM
"Tired of trying, trying to not try"
It's been a while... I'm back now (smiles) The past few days has been, how to put it, ridiculously mind, body and soul exhausting. I almost walked out of the life that knows me best, put down someone I knew longest, extinguish friendships.
I grew sick.
Then Lilian brought a book which I got hooked on yesterday noon, I finished it this morning. It made me think, a whole shitload. I reckon I haven't been the best person to seek comfort in and to be around but I'm getting around...
Life's just been stale. Love rusty. Only the ties with my mom stood through.
(deep sigh) On the optimist side, 15th episode of 92010 is out yesterday! |
Never had the courage,
Wednesday, January 28, 2009 10:17 AM
I've dialed your number half a thousand times
Hoping just to hear your voice on the other line
I never had the courage to finally make that call
I've been missing you so much
Have you been missing me at all?
I need you here now
More than ever before
Cause if you're not by my side
Tell me what is worth living for
I've never had the courage
To tell you how I feel
But honestly I've always loved you
And I promise I always will
Don't take your time
Come on home tonight
Cause every second wasted
I'm here holding on for life
And with every breath I take
I pray you'll find
That I'm the boy you can't get off your mind
I never had the courage
To tell you this before
But every day away from you just makes me love you more
"But one thing I know is that boy gave me something I didn't have before.
What's that?
Hope."
That's what everyone is searching in our incapacitated lifetime, the finding of a lost elemental from our childhood, Hope. I'll continue searching it with the years that would soon pressed neatly into my longing memories.
The momentum of keeping someone I love near to my heart sounds pleasant, then.
Now it's vague, crucible and heart aching.
Which is why I chose to go (smiles)
Might not be the best but I know, somehow, I wouldn't regret. |
Friday, January 23, 2009 10:41 PM
Met up with D and R, it was great catching up with them. Met Huimin and Vanessa for a little while too (smiles) Today's been a good day, tomorrow will be better.
Reunion dinner on Sunday night, kind of dreading it...
But, anything to please my mom. |
"When you fight fire with fire,
You just get more fire"
I've been living with this quote for the past couple of months. Ever since that first incident at work, I retained my quo, got over and understood that not everybody would appreciate one's presence in their life.
Things turned out great, now.
If I had to be such an obscuring, stuck-up snob, and told her off... Awkard.
Quote, unquote (R): Take every single phrase in your life as a learning opportunity to learn how to be yourself, instead of a barrier which prevents Nicole from being Nicole. |
These past few days were either spent busting my ass working or just flat buried myself on my couch on the days I got off. So routinize, every demanding movement or choice I lead myself to, it has brought nothing but self-complacent.
I've been taking the easy way.
Sometimes nic likes to quirk up a little drama, however, last thing I need crucially right at this moment is the limelight screaming at my face.
You guys break up and then make up. You all fight and then have the lustiest patches. I'm growing tired, INFACT, everybody is. If you hate each other so much, why love in the first place? If you love each other in the first place, then why consider breaking up an option?
Grow some poise. Leave a scene, unrattled.
Grow some brains too.
As a friend, I still hold so much admiration for you. But sometimes, you just completely make me want to change my mind. You want people to be there for you but you don't want to return a favour back.
It's bullshit _|_
And i should know better than to blog such an anonymously pin-pointing post this is, especially when we might be going to work together soon.
This shell I'm currently just eradicating, it's staying.
I'm tired of letting anyone getting to me and let them bypass me.
(L)Naima,
"I have never felt beautiful in my life, before. But when I stepped into this room, I felt it. I finally felt that I am beautiful." |
Reunion dinner on Sunday night, kind of dreading it...
But, anything to please my mom. |
Thursday, January 22, 2009 10:01 PM
"When you fight fire with fire,
You just get more fire"
I've been living with this quote for the past couple of months. Ever since that first incident at work, I retained my quo, got over and understood that not everybody would appreciate one's presence in their life.
Things turned out great, now.
If I had to be such an obscuring, stuck-up snob, and told her off... Awkard.
Quote, unquote (R): Take every single phrase in your life as a learning opportunity to learn how to be yourself, instead of a barrier which prevents Nicole from being Nicole. |
Hate post,
5:29 PM
These past few days were either spent busting my ass working or just flat buried myself on my couch on the days I got off. So routinize, every demanding movement or choice I lead myself to, it has brought nothing but self-complacent.
I've been taking the easy way.
Sometimes nic likes to quirk up a little drama, however, last thing I need crucially right at this moment is the limelight screaming at my face.
You guys break up and then make up. You all fight and then have the lustiest patches. I'm growing tired, INFACT, everybody is. If you hate each other so much, why love in the first place? If you love each other in the first place, then why consider breaking up an option?
Grow some poise. Leave a scene, unrattled.
Grow some brains too.
As a friend, I still hold so much admiration for you. But sometimes, you just completely make me want to change my mind. You want people to be there for you but you don't want to return a favour back.
It's bullshit _|_
And i should know better than to blog such an anonymously pin-pointing post this is, especially when we might be going to work together soon.
This shell I'm currently just eradicating, it's staying.
I'm tired of letting anyone getting to me and let them bypass me.
(L)Naima,
"I have never felt beautiful in my life, before. But when I stepped into this room, I felt it. I finally felt that I am beautiful." |